I’m ok with who I am!

I’m ok with who I am!

Repeat after me: I’m ok with who I am! 10x

My friends, it’s time! It’s time for us to stop comparing, to stop wanting something to be something else! It’s time for us to be happy with who we are now.

I was listening to Joel Osteen’s podcast, Be Comfortable With Who You Are , he talked about running your own race.. being able to celebrate others without feeling like you have to catch up… he told a story about how he focused so much on passing someone while on a run he didn’t realized he was 6 blocks away from his house! That’s what happens when you focus on other people’s race. You make it longer for you to reach your destination.

The podcast inspired me to write about being happy with who we are!

• Do you not feel happy with who you are?

• Do you find yourself always wanting to change?

• Do you find yourself always comparing yourself and your journey from others?

Well, if your answer is yes to any of the questions above, you need to stop it! Stop it already!

God created us to be exactly who we are.

Everyone was created to fulfill a purpose that is different for everyone! No one is ever more special than you to God. We are all equal in his eyes. He doesn’t care if you make the most money or if you have all the degrees in the world! He only cares about how and what you do with your life’s purpose.

The more you love yourself the more you open yourself up to God’s purpose for you!

Remind yourself everyday to Love every single bit of you, from your body to your mind and to your soul & spirit! It’s you, it’s always been you!

You don’t have to be the skinniest or the fastest, the smartest or the prettiest! What matters is what’s in your heart and that you be the best you you can ever be.

A heart filled with love will be much more beneficial for you than a heart filled with discontent.

Everyday, every minute repeat the mantra: I am ok with who I am!

Every time doubt cripples in: I am ok with who I am!

Every time you feel behind: I am ok with who I am!

Every time someone mocks you, disrespects you: I am ok with who I am!

Keep that in mind: I am ok with who I am!

What’s for you will be for you! You just have to love YOU and let the rest flow naturally!

xoxo

@piawiaventures!

I’m ok with who I am! I’m ok with who I am!
Once we accept ourselves unconditionally, no matter where we are, it will feel like home. Self Love

Reference:

Joel Osteen, Podcast “Be Comfortable With Who You Are”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/joel-osteen-podcast/id137254859?i=1000444682756

Melody Beatle, Journey to the Heart, Daily Meditation on the Path to Freeing Your Soul

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Marathon Training – Week 1 & 2 #RoadtoBerlinMarathon2019

So I missed the first 2 weeks of {my} marathon training……………..

As soon at that first week came along, I dreaded running! I was feeling ill and stressed. Reason being, I was in the lazy period cycle (TMI, I know but I thought I should share wholeheartedly), my dad was having an intensive (scary) surgery (so I was incredibly stressed and scared) and I was also anxious about starting the marathon. Then week 2 came along, my Long Distance Boyfriend came to visit. It’s not that I didn’t know he was coming that I couldn’t plan ahead to schedule my runs. I actually decided to start my training that week specifically so I don’t have to do longer runs when he visits but yet as soon as he was here I did not feel like losing those couple hours with him to tackle on my scheduled running. Yes, I completely put training aside for these reasons. I should feel like a failure but I honestly didn’t/don’t. 

To others, these reasons may sound like just pure excuses to not pull through with the training and it suggests total failure. I get it, I thought the same thing too but I decided to forgive myself for those missed training days and continue on with training, as planned. Basically, putting those days behind me and focusing more on what lies ahead. (Again, I chose to FORGIVE MYSELF, keep that in mind!) 

So I decided to start on Week 3, regardless of those missed days. I tackled Week 3 and Week 4 like a champ! I didn’t miss a day and that totally made up for all the missed days/weeks prior to that. I am honestly proud of myself for being consistent on week 3 and 4; looking forward excitedly to the rest of the training!

EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT DEFINITION OF SUCCESS. One of the reasons, I wanted to tackle these missed running weeks on here is because I wanted to reiterate to the world just that: everyone has a different definition of success and there’s no point on being hard on yourself for missing some training days/weeks. Just move forward and start over if you have to! (This goes with anything in life, just saying.)

I believe that: as long as you get back out there to continue on with your training, it should be okay. You go out there again and give it your best no matter what and look at those missed days as a reason to go a little harder. Use those missed days as motivation for yourself to never miss another day/week.

I am finding my own definition of SUCCESS and it {honestly} changes daily. There is no right or wrong. If you look unto others to give you your definition of success, you will often feel more like a failure than someone who is just trying their best.

It is important to appreciate the days that you show up and look at the days you don’t as a motivation to keep trying and pushing a little harder {no pressure, lol}. The best part about marathon training is that it is a long process and there is plenty of room to adjust and modify to whatever is best for you! You just gotta find what is best for you. You do you!

Being able to reach this mindset is an accomplishment for me. I used to be super hard on myself with anything that I do or don’t do. Marathon training (running, in general) taught me so much about self love and believing in myself. I learned to be more loving and understanding with myself through running. 

So, if you missed some days on your training just find a way to let it go and start over. Be more focus on what lies ahead. This concept goes with anything in life. The important thing is that you don’t stop and you don’t give up!

That is my rant for today! Yes, this was a rant because so many of us are out here being so hard on ourselves when we should be the one who is most loving and understanding to ourselves! Stay cool and keep on moving!

As always, thank you for reading!

Yours Truly Yours,

Piawia!
Here some photos of week 1 and week 2 training:

 

How to be more consistent with yourself….

March 11, 2019: Today I felt refreshed, oh what a wonderful feeling.

I haven’t been myself lately and it completely took me off guard. I was super euphoric at some point and then bam I was kind of sad.

I want to study mental health more. I want to find out different ways to manage these kind of setbacks.

One of the things I keep hearing from my S.O., people I follow on IG, on YouTube and from people I admire and look up to is the word CONSISTENCY.

Oh you want to start a blog? a vlog? A business? You want to run faster and longer? The answer is consistency.

Being consistent just means showing up, doing what you said you’re going to do even on times you don’t feel like doing it. It’s fighting the curse of excuses and consistently winning over them.

In the beginning of this year, I set out to write something everyday, as much as I can. In the month of January, I was able to fulfill this goal. I wrote every night and I was able to post blogs and share them with my friends and my family. But then it got real. It got to the point where the thoughts I was writing were thoughts I did not feel comfortable enough to share, so I stopped. I was getting the gizz of it all. People were starting to follow me and at some point my page was visited more than 100 times. Why did I stop? I was so courageous and brave, I bought my domain and made my page official but then I stopped? Again, why did I stop? In the month of February, I barely wrote. I posted 2 entries on my page and didn’t share it with friends and family like I did on my other posts.

What stopped me? And what stops a lot of people from fulfilling their goals, their dreams and ultimately living the life they desire?

FEAR! For this question, Fear is the answer. A lot of the excuses that we make up are created to justify our fears. Fear of failing, fear of being ridiculed or not taken seriously, fear of judgment and many other forms of fear. Yes, fear comes in many forms and many times those fears create excuses that stop people from being consistent and firm with their plans and their ideas that ultimately prevents their consistency, leaving them stuck and afraid to move forward.

I set out to be braver this year round and my fear still got to me even with superb support system, being it my family, friends and most especially my S.O. I’ve never felt so supported and yet I still let fear hinder my consistency and most specially my growth.

Fear is truly one of the greatest enemy of consistency.

So how do you fight your fears to become more consistent with your words and your goals?

I have some ideas! I am willing to share them. They have been working for me for the past several weeks and I hope these ideas and concepts will help you be more consistent with achieving your goals:

  1. Knowing that fear is inevitable. With this in mind, I set myself up to success when I accept that fear will be present. I wonder and ponder on what might I be fearing to make up the excuses? My S.O. tells me, “don’t say you know when you really don’t.” You really have to dig deep sometimes. One of the things that helped me thru figuring out what I’m fearing is writing. I write the question, “why am I afraid of ________?” & then answer it. There are times where I would end up writing, “I don’t really fear this” at the end of my writing that leads me to realizing that the fear I have is not true and continue on to do what I set myself out to do.
  2. Lessening the pressure you put on yourself. I created a challenge to run 2 miles a day from February 11th to February 28th. I was fearful I would fail but one of the things that kept me going was reminding myself to not put so much pressure on myself. When I set up my run for the day, I quietly remind myself that “there’s no pressure & to do what I can.” Keeping that in mind put so much ease on my runs making my runs more enjoyable. I decided to share this journey on social media that ultimately led to Friends joining me on the challenge and they asked me what the rules were and I said, “No rules, No pressure.” I’ve been running for 32 days, as of March 14, 2019, way pass the time frame I had originally set out to do. I feel good and I don’t feel drained. My friends are super grateful and are happy they started the challenge too. If I had let fear set in and decided to not share my challenge, I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it much and my friends wouldn’t have joined me. I set aside my fear of being ridiculed and my fear of failure. Setting them aside gave me the opportunity to share the joy of accomplishments with my friends and inspire people to be more active too. Not having the pressure I put on myself made myself more accountable and motivated.
  3. Be more organized. Try your best to be more organized, with your thoughts, your plans and whatever else is in your life. One night, I decided to create an online calendar, as my S.O. suggested {I talk to him a lot}. At first, I was stubborn and thought “No way!” but as soon as I started that calendar, a whole lot of thoughts and worries went out the window. I guess you carry these things on your mind too, the plans, the events, the commitments and many more. As I released these things to put on my calendar, my mind felt at ease, I don’t have to messed up things & I don’t have to miss any events. I can confidently plan, confidently think of other things, confidently focus on other things knowing that I am organized with my days. I also created tasked that I have been checking off each day that makes me feel accomplished vs it just being another day. Organizing can come in many forms too. The key idea of organizing is to have a clear path where your thoughts are not scattered and ultimately alleviate some of your fears of messing up or missing things, events or commitments.
  4. Trust yourself more. I remind myself this all the time. Part of my anxiety battles were brought about because of my self mistrust. For a while, I didn’t trust myself (at all). I’ve come a long way and realizing that Loving Yourself is Trusting Yourself changed my life {for not only the better but for the best}. Even if you fail, even if you make a mistake, even if people are against it, you have to trust that you did the best you could with whatever resources were presented and were available to you. We are all human, we are wired to fail & wired to overcome them too but when we let our fears fight our battles we really don’t get too far. Being brave and fearless can only happen if you give yourself the trust you deserve! Trust that your talented, Trust that you have something important and meaningful to say. Trust that you can inspire. Trust that you are a wonderful human being. Trust that you can overcome all your fears and Trust that you can be consistent with your plans. Just trust and believe in yourself.
  5. “Replace can’t with maybe.” by Alexi Pappas. There’s no other way to word this. I hear and read a lot about the idea that what you say and what you believe to be is actually what happens and what becomes of you. So every time I say things like “I’m not fast”, “I’m not a writer”, or “I can’t do this”, I replace them with more positive thoughts (when I catch it). I am more aware of the thoughts and words I say about myself. I remind myself of words like “not yet”, inspired by Charlie Rocket, to remind myself that there’s always opportunities for growth and even though it feels and seem unattainable, if you ignore those fears, there’s always a chance: a chance to grow, a chance to be faster, a chance to be better, a chance to be who you want yourself to be. So be inspired, follow people who started from where you think you are and witness them face their fears and fulfill the things you dream of to remind yourself that there is always a chance to “replace can’t with maybe.
  6. Another one that I [try to] do and would like to share is to celebrate every accomplishments. It doesn’t matter how small they are, those accomplishments are meant to be celebrated and be proud of. Small things could lead to big things. The little more that you do the closer you get to your goals, the BIG Things. I feel that by celebrating every accomplishments makes being consistent more enjoyable and less pressured. You finished a book, celebrate! You read 3 pages of a book, celebrate! Be grateful for yourself, for trying and for facing your fears! Celebrate yourself for getting up every morning and be grateful for being able to and being given the opportunity just to do something, anything. Celebrate the idea that you are capable and that you have all the opportunities in the world to do what you love you just have to face your fears!

Continue reading How to be more consistent with yourself….

Forgive, Forget & Love.

January 13, 2019

Today, I realized that I want to write about so many things. As I am starting to type I couldn’t think of putting all my thoughts into one passage. This weekend blessed me with a God Daughter, a 13.1 Mile Finish, a Bullseye, a Spotless Clean Car {for my Dad} & a moment with God I haven’t had in a while, all of which made me grateful for life itself!

 

In this blog, I want to write about my Dad. I’ve been meaning to write about this because this is so close to my heart. MY DAD HAD A STROKE. For the very first time in my life my actual fear happened. I always worried about my parents getting sick and worry about what I would do &  what would happen & then it happens. I was overwhelmed with worry & confusion.

With this incident, I learned a lot about myself and what it means to have a family. You see, not many people know this about me, I was losing faith in mine. The day before my Dad had the stroke, I was angry. Angry at the world for not having my back. I preached and I preached about believing in the Universe but yet I was angry with myself for not trusting that my family had my back. My anger and grudge towards my family caused me to distant myself from them for a while. Of course, they did not know this, it’s not their fault. It was something inside me, I know that my family was there deep inside but the surface part of me was so broken I couldn’t see it myself.  

When the stroke happened to my Dad all of my anger and resentments went away. None of those stupid things mattered. I am just happy he is here with us today. I feel like my family and I are much stronger now than ever.

When that happened so many doors opened up for me. My heart was healed and my mind was clearer: none of those things are more important than loving my family no matter what.

When that happened I realized how short life truly is. I realized how much could change in a day, in an hour, in a minute, in seconds.

When that happened I realized to be grateful for what I have, for what is, for what was and for what is there to come.

When that happened I realized how important it is to learn to love others unconditionally by learning to love myself unconditionally. A different view in life came to me telling me the right way to love someone {I have my Mom to thank for that}.

When that happened I was faced with the reality that I have been selfish.

When that happened I was face with the reality that no one is perfect and that everyone is just doing the best that they could.

When that happened I realized how much my family means the world to me.

When that happened I realized that I was so broken and inflicting all my wounds to my family.

There are many many more things I learned in just that one day. That one moment that changed my life. That one moment that made me want to cherish my time with my parents, to cherish moments of joy and laughter with my family. That one moment that made me realized that I had to heal for others. That one moment that changed my life is the moment I thought I could lose my FATHER. (He is ok, by the way)

“It takes us losing something, someone, ourselves or time to truly appreciate what we once took for granted. I don’t want loss to be the eye opening moment anymore. Why are we so blind to good things?” – Kyle Fasel

Learn to heal yourself instead of inflicting your pain onto others. Learn to heal yourself so that you may cherish the most important people in your life the right way. Learn to heal yourself so that you won’t have any regrets. Learn to heal yourself so that you may help others heal themselves. Learn to heal yourself because you are the only one that could.

My love for my family is an epitome of trust, acceptance (for what is) & forgiveness. Without them my world will never be the same.

 

FORGIVING OUR PARENTS, OUR FRIENDS, OURSELVES

“The holiest of all spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.” – A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson.

As always, Thank you for taking a moment to read my thoughts.

Yours Truly Yours,

Piawia.

Thankful For Him <3

February 4, 2019

How am I feeling today? I feel happy.

That’s it. That’s how today is, feeling happy (& tired actually lol I’ve been up for a while).

So today Karl and I made it official. We are together. We are going to see where this relationship will take us. We will take it day by day. I am so happy.

This week has been so wonderful to me. His visit here in Jax has brought so much joy into my life that I’ve never felt before (all I meant is it’s a different kind of joy, not that I never felt joy).

Reasons being? The whole time Karl was here I was myself………….. There was no doubt in my mind that I am comfortable being around him and that is such a wonderful feeling. We’ve talked about things I never even talked about to anyone. I wasn’t afraid to tell him things people used to call me crazy, desperate for……………….. HE just let me be. He let me be myself freely and that is as in my previous passages, is the most wonderful thing to gift someone.

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Watching The Sunrise 1.29.2019

I want to remember each moment of this day… or the day leading up to this because it was just pass 12am or so when he asked me if we could make it official………….. That took me by surprise really…………………

It’s so sad sometimes to think that all these nice things that he’s doing for me was unexpected but it shouldn’t be unexpected, that is how things are supposed to be.

I was an hour late in our meet up plan because I was thinking he was going to be late or that he was stuck in his conference and was unable to let me know he was on his way……… You see, this is such a regular occurrence for me that I just grew accustomed to it (sadly)…. I’ve dated guys who made me wait 12 hours, I dated guys who nonchalantly tells me “oh sorry, I didn’t realized you were waiting.” I dated guys who just do their thing without regards to the time I spent waiting when I could have done something else…………… No total regards that my time is being wasted waiting for a text to tell me what’s going on…………………………. I learned to be chill in this moments of waiting…………………. And now I meet this guy who is punctual, who says what he means… He told me he would leave Miami by 12 and should be in Orlando by 3…. And silly silly me for thinking he’s going to text me when he leaves and let me know if he’s done with the conference……….. 2pm comes along no text…I’m still so Chill, “Aww he’s probably having a good time in the conference, but I’m ok here i’m spending time with D & D, maybe he doesn’t want to bother me either.” This mindset is kind of making me sad………….. Haha I am numb from people not respecting my time that that’s the kind of mindset I have while waiting on someone………… Karl actually didn’t realized that I was waiting for a text that he was coming because in his mind, I should have known he was on his way……………. Yes I know Him and I need to work on our communication but to be honest, there was nothing wrong with what he did. It was me………. I was so used to people taking my time for granted that that’s what I expected from him……………………………. It wasn’t until Destinie asked me if I was sure… that I should just text him and ask… so I did….. His response “Yes ETA 3PM” like we talked about………………… I was an hour away and was still at the restaurant…I’m just so touched and amused that this guy actually respected my time………….. He didn’t even go to the conference anymore coz he wouldn’t make it on time to meet me at 3pm………………………. Who does that? WHO FREAKIN DOES THAT? NO ONE EVER CARED TO MEET ME ON TIME IF THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE THEY ARE DOING!!! NO ONE………………. That kind of person exist? That kind of person who thinks meeting me was important..……… HE put seeing me first before anything else……………………… & I was so used to people making me wait that I ended up making him wait………………………….. The whole 1 hour drive I had I was thinking of ways to apologize, my excuses… but I couldn’t come up with a good one. I couldn’t think of anything because he didn’t deserve that………………………….. I said sorry and he said “it’s okay, are you ready?” I set my things in our room and he hugs me. He hugs me so tightly as if all that mattered was that I was there, nothing else mattered………. There was no drama, no guilt tripping, no why what happened……….. He was just happy I was there………

This person exist? All I can think about was how can I repay him for all his kindness… all I can do is to appreciate him for who he is. To give thanks to all that he does……… to appreciate him…..

It makes me feel so sad writing this. I can’t believe that he’s so sweet and nice. That the kind of guy I used to dream about is here existing right before my eyes. We shared so many moments together in just those little times that we had, can you imagine having a lifetime of days like that? I want to believe that that kind of Love can exist for me for a lifetime…………. All I need to do is be grateful for each moments we have.. That’s it. Just need to be super grateful.

So as our afternoon continues, we go to see Orlando eye. I hug him as we walked…….. He offered his arms and I obliged whilst still hugging him. Haha I just couldn’t get enough about how freaking grateful I was!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT while in line to go to the Orlando Eye Ferris Wheel was “I LIKE THIS GUY so much” on repeat!

Well, as always, thank you so much for reading my thoughts. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Love always.

Yours Truly Yours,

Piawia <3

 

February 4, 2019 <3

Best Damn Race – Jax – 2019

How was this race for me?

It was challenging… I haven’t been running much and I feel like I am taking running a little bit for granted. I haven’t been training and yet I challenged myself into running half marathons without training just because in my mind, I CAN. It can be both a good thing and a bad thing depending on what side of my head you are on.

It’s a good thing, because I know what my body is capable of and a good thing because I am always able to finish any race, no matter what distance, I sign up for. Good for me!

& Yet, I feel, as though, I disrespected the race because I know there are people who took their time to train and get ready for these kind of races. Please forgive me. I admire you and all your hard work and I promise I will train and do better on my next races. So BDR, is the last Half Marathon I signed up for, for now, at least for the beginning of this year. No worries, I have a lot more other races lined up for the year but I just wanted to take it easy and reboot myself back into training and getting my running and strength training going.

Best Damn Race did not disappoint. I enjoyed every single moment of it. I was super excited when I got my running packet, with my Bib, my shirt & a pair of SOCKS! It was a bit of a surprise for me to be able to grab a pair of socks in there (HAHA moment). Yes the little things in these races can be very unique and uplifting.

On the day of the race, January 12, 2019:

I woke up at 4:30 A.M. (just thought I’d put that out there because that made me so proud of myself.)

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Books I Skimmed Through Before The Race.
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 An Episode of FRIENDS that I Watched While Getting Ready.

When I got to the Landing, where it started, I got a sense of excitement from the people around me. Running events always have that type of vibes anyways. Everyone is so friendly, commenting on my roll of tissue paper, “I should have brought one, I need that.” Of course, I offered. Just a background on that, I have been listening to Coach B on the Nike App and in one of his training sessions, he talked about practicing gratitude for everything during race day; the people that helped organized it, the volunteers, everyone and everything! One of the things he does to show gratitude is by bringing a roll of toilet paper so that there will always be some just in case the race runs out of toilet paper, which happens. So yeah, I brought a roll of toilet paper and left it in the bathroom. It felt amazing to take part on that pass the toilet roll paper goodness. (See the small things always does make a difference.)

Before the race started, as we line up, my friends and I realized that “Whoa, there’s not that many people here today.” My first thought was “OH MY! I’m going to be last.” It’s such a pressure building moment, when it truly doesn’t matter what place you’ll be in the race because all the matters is that you have fun and that the race makes you feel like your time and efforts were all worthwhile. So, I calmed my silly self down and remembered to just enjoy the race!

As the race started, I can feel the adrenaline rushing thru me. I ran with the Jax Galloway crew, which consist of amazing people, by the way. We do the run and walk method that I love. We started the method after the 1 mile mark. Although, I did stop to enjoy the Sunrise! It was rising right over the Hart Bridge, the Green Monster, which is my favorite bridge and it truly made me feel so blessed to be able to take part on this race. I stuck with the group I was with until Mile 9 or so, after that, I couldn’t keep up anymore and fell a bit behind. It’s ok, the race is full of supportive and motivated individuals that kept me motivated and determined.

This is my first time doing a BDR race and I must say that the route was one of my faves. You might hear different things from different people but I think it was one of the best I participated in (but don’t listen to me, I like most of the racing routes I participate in, anyways). As I approached the part of the route that I normally run on a regular basis, I felt at home, “This is 1 mile away from my destination.” I do somewhat have that last part of the route memorized by feel because it was my normal route when I run on my lunch breaks or in the mornings. It felt good and it felt like I could finish strong……. (I walked a lot, lol) As I go through the elevated part of the race and the down inclines, it felt nice and amazing but I still walked a little bit after that and ran a little bit more when I was closer to the finish line.

& Just like in any other races, seeing that finish line, is an amazing feeling. I grabbed my medal and grabbed my water and see my friends who were waiting for me. “Wait you didn’t take a picture here yet.”, one of my friends remembered. Ha! & that is why I love participating in races, it is full of dedicated, motivated, loving, wonderful people who are always there to encourage you to keep going! The end.

As always, thank you for reading my thoughts. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Love always.

Yours Truly Yours,

Piawia <3

What Kind of Love Am I Looking For?

January 21, 2019

The question at this very moment: What kind of love am I looking for?

This question came to me as I was scrolling thru my IG account. 

The best gift you are ever going to give someone: the permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough. – Hannah Brencher

It made me wonder about what kind of love/relationship am I looking for…. 

I want a love that challenges me, scares me but never ever changes me………

I keep repeating it to myself. Just be yourself. Be the best version of yourself!

Even while jotting down the things I’ve learned about life and how wonderful it is to be me, I still get my moments. I get embarrassed sometimes because the very friends I inspire and give encouragement and support to are also the friends who I run to when I am having my own issues. But they don’t care, they still love me.

I feel like that is true friendship, sharing the things you learn and inspiring each other to becoming the very best. I think that is some sweet stuff, when you can be completely yourself with your friends without being afraid of being judged. Isn’t that a wonderful thing?

Sometimes friends will need you and sometimes you’ll need them, & there is nothing wrong with that.

I came to realize that the kind of love I’ve been looking for has always been around me anyways.

The kind of love I’ve been looking for has always been here with me… & for many years I struggled with looking so hard for this kind of love. I forced people to stay with me, to do things that are out of themselves just to love me exactly how my friends and my family has always loved me.

I feel like this kind of revelations always come to me…. But without the sense of security within myself, it never stuck. I felt so insecure and lost for many years and finding my true self again has opened up a new world for me.

Yes, I still get hit with anxiety, things/situations still trigger self sabotaging acts, but this time, I know I got my friends, I know I got myself, I know I got my family and there is nothing else I’ll need.

It is true, we need to appreciate the ones that matter the most to us and they are the ones that let you be you, no matter what.

So if any one new comes along I am going to make sure I am going to be myself 100%. 

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Enjoy each moment.

 

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TRUST

A Letter From Me To Younger Me <3

January 20, 2019

The power of self-love, got me craving for some me time!

I wanted to write something to younger me. I want to write her a letter, for all those lost & troubled times and for moments that younger me never felt loved. So, here it is:

Dearest Younger Me,

(A Letter Inspired by Alexi Pappas)

From the beginning of time, you have been given this journey to grow and learn. Hold on there! You are doing amazing and I am super proud of you. In this journey, you will learn all of the things I list below, yes, it seems far from true but one day you will learn to trust me too.

1. When given a chance, always choose to see the Sunrise…

Sunrise (& Sunsets) are always beautiful and every single one of them will remind you how truly blessed you are & starting over is not such a bad thing.

2. Never doubt yourself, better yet, never let others put doubts in your head…

In life, negativity is a given thing, power thru them anyways. You are far more powerful than the negativity that will come your way.

3. Believe in who you are…

Learn to love yourself for exactly who you are. Remember that the world is a better place because you are in it! <3

4. Love is always the answer..

When fear comes along, remember to always choose the path of love and it will lead you to the right place.

5. Forgiveness is the key to a loving heart, always choose it & choose it fast…. 

Forgiveness is hard but also the most important thing to learn! Let go of what if & what’s not. Let the joy of accepting what is come into your life.

6. You’ll feel like you’ll need to prove yourself to people, Don’t.

Always choose to be brave, say what you feel, say what you mean and let your inner guide lead you… It will never let you go astray……

7. Always be in a place where self-love can exist for you…

Avoid places, people and situations that doesn’t feel like love… if you ever find yourself in these places, you can always leave and that is completely ok! Always choose what is truly good for you!

8. The YOU now is just as deserving as the better you you are waiting for…..

No need to wait to feel worthy, you are always worthy, remember that always!

9. Focus on what is best for you, and the rest will follow…………..

Your main goal in this life is to be happy, so be that, do only things that make you happy and don’t let anyone distract you from achieving true happiness……. & If you do get distracted it’s ok, let it go, forgive yourself & choose again. 

~Always Choose Love Over Fear!~

Yours Truly Yours,

Piawia!

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Est. 1.19.2019 “Training is like building a sandcastle. Each grain of sand is important, even if you can’t see them all”
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Sunset ~ Est. 1.19.2019
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Sunrise ~ Est. 1.20.2019
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Sunrise ~ Est. 1.20.2019
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Sunrise ~ Est. 1.19.2019

 

I Choose Love Over Fear <3

January 9, 2019

I lost track of where I was, I’m looking around for my inner peace and frantically looking for a way to look at things with love.

Trust that you are on the right path.

My insecurities revealed itself a little bit today but for reasons that I inflicted myself (onto myself). I even thought that maybe I need a drink to type and write this so I could be more real and raw (but I didn’t). I had a whole page of things on here but decided to delete the whole thing. I think this marks the very first day in 2019 history that I am writing with a frantic heart. It feels heavy as though it shouldn’t be here, because it really shouldn’t. I want to be real and I want to be brave so brave I will be. (Always be #bravey)

What triggered my insecurities? You ask… It’s a put together guy. A man who has his life (to what seems like) figured out. I knew going thru my self-love journey that I am meant to meet people just like him because that’s a sign that I am doing something good with myself. See, I knew this was coming and yet the minute we hang up that phone all I wanted to do was run! My life started to seem uneventful and unfulfilling, maybe this is exactly what I needed. I reached out to the Holy Spirit to guide me thru this because my insecurities are not getting in the way of me getting to know someone who shares the same interests as me, someone who can potentially make a great positive impact in my life.

So this is what it’s like to get to know someone when you’re doing so great inside. As the Course in Miracles points out, the Universe will challenge you on your journey. The Universe or God Himself will bring people in your life that will challenge your being until you learn the lesson you need to learn. In this case, my lesson (it has always been) is to see myself in the LIGHT instead of the DARK. My lesson is to figure out a way to channel my inner peace on times when it seems like it is being shaken (by my own self). My lesson is to not run away and enjoy the moments for what it truly is. 

Continue reading I Choose Love Over Fear <3

My EGO Never Had My Back

January 7,  2019

Today, I felt ashamed of myself for letting my ego lead my way for a very long time but I am also happy and thankful for this realization and the chance to start over and begin anew. Continue reading My EGO Never Had My Back