How to be more consistent with yourself….

March 11, 2019: Today I felt refreshed, oh what a wonderful feeling.

I haven’t been myself lately and it completely took me off guard. I was super euphoric at some point and then bam I was kind of sad.

I want to study mental health more. I want to find out different ways to manage these kind of setbacks.

One of the things I keep hearing from my S.O., people I follow on IG, on YouTube and from people I admire and look up to is the word CONSISTENCY.

Oh you want to start a blog? a vlog? A business? You want to run faster and longer? The answer is consistency.

Being consistent just means showing up, doing what you said you’re going to do even on times you don’t feel like doing it. It’s fighting the curse of excuses and consistently winning over them.

In the beginning of this year, I set out to write something everyday, as much as I can. In the month of January, I was able to fulfill this goal. I wrote every night and I was able to post blogs and share them with my friends and my family. But then it got real. It got to the point where the thoughts I was writing were thoughts I did not feel comfortable enough to share, so I stopped. I was getting the gizz of it all. People were starting to follow me and at some point my page was visited more than 100 times. Why did I stop? I was so courageous and brave, I bought my domain and made my page official but then I stopped? Again, why did I stop? In the month of February, I barely wrote. I posted 2 entries on my page and didn’t share it with friends and family like I did on my other posts.

What stopped me? And what stops a lot of people from fulfilling their goals, their dreams and ultimately living the life they desire?

FEAR! For this question, Fear is the answer. A lot of the excuses that we make up are created to justify our fears. Fear of failing, fear of being ridiculed or not taken seriously, fear of judgment and many other forms of fear. Yes, fear comes in many forms and many times those fears create excuses that stop people from being consistent and firm with their plans and their ideas that ultimately prevents their consistency, leaving them stuck and afraid to move forward.

I set out to be braver this year round and my fear still got to me even with superb support system, being it my family, friends and most especially my S.O. I’ve never felt so supported and yet I still let fear hinder my consistency and most specially my growth.

Fear is truly one of the greatest enemy of consistency.

So how do you fight your fears to become more consistent with your words and your goals?

I have some ideas! I am willing to share them. They have been working for me for the past several weeks and I hope these ideas and concepts will help you be more consistent with achieving your goals:

  1. Knowing that fear is inevitable. With this in mind, I set myself up to success when I accept that fear will be present. I wonder and ponder on what might I be fearing to make up the excuses? My S.O. tells me, “don’t say you know when you really don’t.” You really have to dig deep sometimes. One of the things that helped me thru figuring out what I’m fearing is writing. I write the question, “why am I afraid of ________?” & then answer it. There are times where I would end up writing, “I don’t really fear this” at the end of my writing that leads me to realizing that the fear I have is not true and continue on to do what I set myself out to do.
  2. Lessening the pressure you put on yourself. I created a challenge to run 2 miles a day from February 11th to February 28th. I was fearful I would fail but one of the things that kept me going was reminding myself to not put so much pressure on myself. When I set up my run for the day, I quietly remind myself that “there’s no pressure & to do what I can.” Keeping that in mind put so much ease on my runs making my runs more enjoyable. I decided to share this journey on social media that ultimately led to Friends joining me on the challenge and they asked me what the rules were and I said, “No rules, No pressure.” I’ve been running for 32 days, as of March 14, 2019, way pass the time frame I had originally set out to do. I feel good and I don’t feel drained. My friends are super grateful and are happy they started the challenge too. If I had let fear set in and decided to not share my challenge, I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it much and my friends wouldn’t have joined me. I set aside my fear of being ridiculed and my fear of failure. Setting them aside gave me the opportunity to share the joy of accomplishments with my friends and inspire people to be more active too. Not having the pressure I put on myself made myself more accountable and motivated.
  3. Be more organized. Try your best to be more organized, with your thoughts, your plans and whatever else is in your life. One night, I decided to create an online calendar, as my S.O. suggested {I talk to him a lot}. At first, I was stubborn and thought “No way!” but as soon as I started that calendar, a whole lot of thoughts and worries went out the window. I guess you carry these things on your mind too, the plans, the events, the commitments and many more. As I released these things to put on my calendar, my mind felt at ease, I don’t have to messed up things & I don’t have to miss any events. I can confidently plan, confidently think of other things, confidently focus on other things knowing that I am organized with my days. I also created tasked that I have been checking off each day that makes me feel accomplished vs it just being another day. Organizing can come in many forms too. The key idea of organizing is to have a clear path where your thoughts are not scattered and ultimately alleviate some of your fears of messing up or missing things, events or commitments.
  4. Trust yourself more. I remind myself this all the time. Part of my anxiety battles were brought about because of my self mistrust. For a while, I didn’t trust myself (at all). I’ve come a long way and realizing that Loving Yourself is Trusting Yourself changed my life {for not only the better but for the best}. Even if you fail, even if you make a mistake, even if people are against it, you have to trust that you did the best you could with whatever resources were presented and were available to you. We are all human, we are wired to fail & wired to overcome them too but when we let our fears fight our battles we really don’t get too far. Being brave and fearless can only happen if you give yourself the trust you deserve! Trust that your talented, Trust that you have something important and meaningful to say. Trust that you can inspire. Trust that you are a wonderful human being. Trust that you can overcome all your fears and Trust that you can be consistent with your plans. Just trust and believe in yourself.
  5. “Replace can’t with maybe.” by Alexi Pappas. There’s no other way to word this. I hear and read a lot about the idea that what you say and what you believe to be is actually what happens and what becomes of you. So every time I say things like “I’m not fast”, “I’m not a writer”, or “I can’t do this”, I replace them with more positive thoughts (when I catch it). I am more aware of the thoughts and words I say about myself. I remind myself of words like “not yet”, inspired by Charlie Rocket, to remind myself that there’s always opportunities for growth and even though it feels and seem unattainable, if you ignore those fears, there’s always a chance: a chance to grow, a chance to be faster, a chance to be better, a chance to be who you want yourself to be. So be inspired, follow people who started from where you think you are and witness them face their fears and fulfill the things you dream of to remind yourself that there is always a chance to “replace can’t with maybe.
  6. Another one that I [try to] do and would like to share is to celebrate every accomplishments. It doesn’t matter how small they are, those accomplishments are meant to be celebrated and be proud of. Small things could lead to big things. The little more that you do the closer you get to your goals, the BIG Things. I feel that by celebrating every accomplishments makes being consistent more enjoyable and less pressured. You finished a book, celebrate! You read 3 pages of a book, celebrate! Be grateful for yourself, for trying and for facing your fears! Celebrate yourself for getting up every morning and be grateful for being able to and being given the opportunity just to do something, anything. Celebrate the idea that you are capable and that you have all the opportunities in the world to do what you love you just have to face your fears!

Continue reading How to be more consistent with yourself….

Advertisements

A Letter From Me To Younger Me <3

January 20, 2019

The power of self-love, got me craving for some me time!

I wanted to write something to younger me. I want to write her a letter, for all those lost & troubled times and for moments that younger me never felt loved. So, here it is:

Dearest Younger Me,

(A Letter Inspired by Alexi Pappas)

From the beginning of time, you have been given this journey to grow and learn. Hold on there! You are doing amazing and I am super proud of you. In this journey, you will learn all of the things I list below, yes, it seems far from true but one day you will learn to trust me too.

1. When given a chance, always choose to see the Sunrise…

Sunrise (& Sunsets) are always beautiful and every single one of them will remind you how truly blessed you are & starting over is not such a bad thing.

2. Never doubt yourself, better yet, never let others put doubts in your head…

In life, negativity is a given thing, power thru them anyways. You are far more powerful than the negativity that will come your way.

3. Believe in who you are…

Learn to love yourself for exactly who you are. Remember that the world is a better place because you are in it! <3

4. Love is always the answer..

When fear comes along, remember to always choose the path of love and it will lead you to the right place.

5. Forgiveness is the key to a loving heart, always choose it & choose it fast…. 

Forgiveness is hard but also the most important thing to learn! Let go of what if & what’s not. Let the joy of accepting what is come into your life.

6. You’ll feel like you’ll need to prove yourself to people, Don’t.

Always choose to be brave, say what you feel, say what you mean and let your inner guide lead you… It will never let you go astray……

7. Always be in a place where self-love can exist for you…

Avoid places, people and situations that doesn’t feel like love… if you ever find yourself in these places, you can always leave and that is completely ok! Always choose what is truly good for you!

8. The YOU now is just as deserving as the better you you are waiting for…..

No need to wait to feel worthy, you are always worthy, remember that always!

9. Focus on what is best for you, and the rest will follow…………..

Your main goal in this life is to be happy, so be that, do only things that make you happy and don’t let anyone distract you from achieving true happiness……. & If you do get distracted it’s ok, let it go, forgive yourself & choose again. 

~Always Choose Love Over Fear!~

Yours Truly Yours,

Piawia!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

img_8672
Est. 1.19.2019 “Training is like building a sandcastle. Each grain of sand is important, even if you can’t see them all”
img_8660
Sunset ~ Est. 1.19.2019
img_8736
Sunrise ~ Est. 1.20.2019
img_8729
Sunrise ~ Est. 1.20.2019
img_8604
Sunrise ~ Est. 1.19.2019

 

Aftermath of my First Marathon

October 7, 2018

I did it, (I did something incredible) I finished one of the World Major Marathons, the Bank of America Chicago Marathon 2018. 

img_644511.jpg
My fave mantra: “Stay” – just enjoying each run moment by moment.

Honest to God, becoming a MARATHONER was one of the best feeling of my life, seeing that finish line was just pure amazing! I couldn’t believe I was able to reach my goal. I knew I was made for long distance running, even before, I just couldn’t fathom the fact of running for a long period of time. CRAZY SH*TS. 

My mindset about running (and life in general) changed so much. I’ve come a long way mentally and I am super proud of who I became. I became this person who believes in herself and someone who works really hard to love herself. {That’s a good thing, and you should be proud of yourself for striving for the best version of yourself} 

This marathon journey taught me so much about my strengths and weaknesses, what I love, things I want to be surrounded with, being alone & accepting other people’s helping hand without feeling like a failure. I learned to give thanks for everything that is around me and everything that is given to me, provided for me, I became the most Thankful and Grateful person I never thought I could be and that’s one of the things I love about myself! Ha. You’re probably like, who’s this girl who’s just talking about how much she loves herself? That’s totally fine! I just want to inspire people to start loving themselves too. To start accepting themselves for who, where and what they (we) are! 

The marathon was just a stepping stone for me. The morning of the race I woke up feeling prepared, excited, anxious and also very grateful for the journey. I learned that just being able to run is something to be grateful for already despite of results or anything else that could happen. The fact that I was given an opportunity to be where I was, was already something to be (SUPER) grateful for. My mind was really calm (well, until I realized I might be late, then I started panicking a little bit) but all together, there was no doubt in my mind that I could finish. It was already set in stone for me that I will finish. I was more worried about not making it on time, but I made it with 45 minutes to spare 🙂 How incredible is that? My time {for my first marathon} is 5:45:54 which is an incredible feeling. Before I took training seriously, I was running 15-16 minutes per mile {only because I lost touch with running for a while}. In those weeks, I was running my slowest, I even thought of quitting, but quitting was not an option. When I decided not to quit, it was more because I didn’t want to have to think about the marathon for another LONG YEAR! I’ve put some things on HOLD to be able to do this and I didn’t really want to do it again. After a while though, the reason for this run journey shifted to because I BELIEVE I CAN! {If you want to know how I did that just message me or I’ll write another blog about that shift, IDK, I’m playing this by ear and just writing away my thoughts about the marathon and what I had become after it} 

The shift in my mindset helped me through training and eliminated a whole lot of doubts (instead of doubting the whole journey, I only doubted a little bit, ha! It was a shift from 90% of doubt to 10%).  Now, after this Marathon journey, I believe in myself more. I know I can accomplish a lot of things I set my mind to. It taught me to focus on myself, to love myself and to believe in myself. It taught me that there are no set backs that can ever prevent you from reaching a GOAL you truly believe in. 

This journey changed my views in life and I want to be able to share that with people because it’s an amazing feeling. I hope that this inspires you and your friends, your family and anyone who ever doubted themselves. I was a self doubter, a self downer, someone who waited for people to believe in herself. Someone who cared about why people doubted her and someone who didn’t think she could accomplish big things and yet here I am 26.2 MILES STRONGER than any of those doubts. Don’t ever ever lose hope and faith in yourself because no one else can believe in yourself as strong as YOU CAN BELIEVE in yourself. 

So, that is the aftermath of my marathon journey, this running journey has taught me so much about my strength and how I reached a goal I never thought I could. KEEP BELIEVING and as the first time Marathoner OLYMPIAN, Alexi Pappas said: “Replace Can’t with Maybe” and you will reach goals you never thought you could! Always Be Brave, BRAVEY! 🙂 

Thank you for taking your time in reading this fantastic & amazing journey of mine. 

Follow my SELF LOVE Journey on IG @piawiaventures. 🙂

PEACE, LOVE & GRATITUDE. 

img_64421.jpg
Thankful for my legs & feet, my whole body, always.

With LOVE Always, 

Pia, 

the Marathoner

(my running name is MARIA, by the way)

Wearing my medal in the Atlanta Airport
Coz I can. #MedalMonday

Exploring True Happiness

Hello again! I wanted to start this blog with a quote that I read on my IG:

“The reason you want every single thing that you want, is because you think you will feel really good when you get there. But, if you don’t feel really good on your way to there, you can’t get there. You have to be satisfied with the what-is while you’re reaching for more.” – Abraham Hicks

This quote today really touched my heart. I had a really tough 2 years, going through a break up, getting into a new relationship too soon, etc, you know the drill. It was chaotic but somehow I got out of the chaos. I found peace with running. Running for me was really hard growing up (still is to this day) but somehow there was a moment in my life when running became my go to… I was looking for something I enjoyed doing and at that moment in my life, it was running. I was happy, I broke Personal Records. I was running faster than I thought I could ever be. It was an amazing feeling. I started focusing on Personal Records, going to every single running events there was, started working at a running store, research about running and reading books and stories about runners. I was so in Love with the thought that I could be a really good runner, relationship problems? What’s that!?!

BUT just like any other relationship, it got harder. Personal Records got harder to beat, running events got expensive, working a full time job and a part time job got tiring… I was starting to beat myself up for running. It was like a relationship that I didn’t recognize.

One day, I was running and thought to myself, will I be happy if I broke my foot? Will I be happy if I can’t do this anymore? Will I be happy if this was something I can never do again???

Don’t get me wrong, Running could still be very therapeutic at times for me but I started focusing more on finding true happiness within myself and not just depending on anything or anyone.

I took a break from running. I ran less miles, less times.

I just started focusing on being happy……….. I always have to be connected to something or someone. So, I read self help books, I went to the beach to just enjoy the sunrise, I slept in, I prepped meals, I just started taking care of myself more and also still running, when I want to and only when I want to.

I realized other aspects of what I thought was what happiness would look like.

I used to think having a family and children was the ultimate goal to happiness. Even planned to be married by 23 and kids right after, next thing you know I’m 29, with no relationship! Ha! Before this time, around 26-28, gosh! I focused so much on having a relationship and getting married! That made that whole transition chaotic for me. It wasn’t until I ran into an article (I’m sorry I’ve lost the article) but it talked about how having a family and children were just socially constructed as the ultimate happiness. After reading through that, and hearing other stories, I realized that those things are not the ultimate happiness.

That I should be happy with or without those things. I started looking at the future with far less expectations and just hoping that I will find true happiness even if things don’t go the way I planned.

There are different types of happiness and just like what the quote says if you’re not totally happy, if you are waiting to be happy, receiving all those things that you thought would make you happy, won’t actually make you happy.

You have to find happiness within yourself now, and I think you could do that by allowing yourself to accept what is. To not depend on things that can be easily taken away to make you happy.

Finding true love is giving yourself the ultimate love no one else can give you. I believe the ingredients of true love of oneself is forgiveness (so important!), trust & the ultimate acceptance of what, where and who you are.

Exploring True Happiness means finding true happiness from what is.

I hope this enlightened someone! And even if it just reaches one person! I would be happy!

What Does It Mean To Truly Love Yourself?

How does it feel to be loved by you?

I’m talking about do you know what it feels like to be loved by yourself? If your answer is yes, that is wonderful news! As for those who answered no, the answer is here with me today!

Firstly, you need to remember that loving yourself is a choice you need to make and in order for all my wonderful advise to work and settle in your system, you have to choose to love and be loved by your own self! 🙂 I know it seems difficult, It can be. I struggle with this on a daily basis but the steps I’m about to provide will help you and guide you (&me!).

A little note on my journey, I’ve always wanted to discover self-love and it wasn’t until just recently that I’ve encountered some little revelations in life. as my friend said “Wisdom comes with AGE!”.  

Here are 5 steps that I believe will guide you through your journey of loving yourself: (There is no need to follow this particular order.)

1.) You are awesome now! Say it out loud and believe it!

The first note and advise I would like for you to remember is that you are wonderful NOW. You are amazing as you are now. Where you are in life is beautiful already. You don’t have to wait for the better version of yourself anymore! Just accept the fact that right now, with all the mess in your head, YOU ARE PERFECT just the way you are! You’ve come a long way. The YOU NOW is strong. The YOU NOW is brave and the YOU NOW will overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Keep in mind that the YOU NOW is just as deserving as the better you you’ve been waiting for. Often times, people who are seeking for healing are so focused on becoming the better version of themselves, they forget just how wonderful they are already.

This is one of my revelations, as I was speaking to my friend, she was constantly telling me “when I get better, I will be ready for……”, it dawned on me that she is already amazing now, she is already deserving now, what else does she need to change?? I realized that all the improvements that come with healing are addition to how wonderful a person is already. You are loved, just the way you are & you just have to believe that it is true.

2.) Forgiveness, to oneself and others.

Number 2 on my list is forgiveness. I think, forgiveness is one of the major things you need to learn. Forgiveness can go a long way. It can literally be your key to freedom. Forgiveness gives you the opportunity to grow and learn. Forgiveness frees up your heart from all the hate, agitation, resentments and a lot of negativity that surrounds you. I think the best way to learn forgiveness is by learning ways to forgive yourself. It all starts with you.

I struggled with this for many years growing up. I was so hard on myself for so many things, “oh I said the wrong thing!”, “I bumped into that person, I feel so bad!”. I didn’t realize that I made myself miserable for no reason. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, let it go! All the hateful things you tell yourself for making simple or even big mistakes, it’s okay! Learn from it and forgive yourself! It’s exactly right, how can you expect to easily forgive others when you’re not cutting yourself some slack!? Start with yourself and it will gradually come to you. Some days, it’ll be easier and some days, it’ll be harder but what I’ve learned about mistakes from spiritual junkie, Gabby Bernstein, is that you can recognize it, then forgive yourself & then choose again. I really liked that she emphasize that everyday, every moment, we are always given an opportunity to choose again. And that is how I see forgiveness, everyday, you have an opportunity to be better, and every mistake is an opportunity to learn and grow. Forgiveness is important! Don’t ever live your life without it. 🙂

3.) “The best proof of love is trust.” – Joyce brothers

Have you ever ask yourself a million times if you’ve locked your car while sitting on your desk and finding yourself walking back to your car just to realize that you have, in fact, locked your car? Ha! Sometimes, this could just be a sign of forgetfulness, but I came to realize that this could also be a sign of mistrusting oneself’s ability to be responsible and on top of things.  

And then one day, I ran into a meme (of course, i get inspiration from them little ole things), “The best proof of love is trust.” I thought: “This is amazing, this guy is very trusting of me, he loves me.” Ha! But then i realized that I haven’t fully trusted myself all these years, does that mean, I haven’t really loved myself to the full extent? (Another aha moment) I think, in some ways, it does mean that. I realize that I doubted every single life decisions I’ve made and not totally trusting my gut instincts. Regretting a break up, regretting the degree, regretting & doubting myself in everything I put my mind to. Heck, even the simple things, as locking my car or turning off my straightener, I doubted myself. that is not love from what i realize. I should give myself more credit & know that I am a responsible person.

I realized that it is true that trust is one of the greatest proof of ones love, and that by learning to trust ourselves more, we’ll on the right path for self-love. Trusting yourself is one of the steps you take to loving yourself and not a result of loving yourself. A lot of people who are on their journey of finally loving themselves think: “Ohh, when i get better, I’ll be able to make better choices,” the thing is, you’ve made those (past) decisions for yourself, don’t doubt them, embrace them and trust them even if you didn’t get the result you wanted from them. The life that you have is exactly that, it’s your life, and you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, trust that you’ve made good decisions for yourself. Learning to trust yourself is probably one of the most vital steps to loving yourself. So, do that, just trust yourself & any doubts that come your way, just remember, if you do make a mistake, you can always choose again!! 🙂

4.) Not everything negative your mind tells you is true.

You must think, “Heck you just told me to trust myself!?” Haha yes I know, this kind of contradicts my number 3 step but this is important. I believe part of self mistrust is that you believe every single negative things your mind have told you about yourself. It’s much easier to do so, but you must definitely learn to not believe every negative things your mind tells you about yourself. All those negative thoughts are created from self-doubt, Hence, no trust! It’s pretty much a cycle that’s so hard to manage but you have to believe that you are capable of seeing yourself at a better light.

So what you need to do is stop yourself from thinking negatively of yourself. “Oh I’m not smart” STOP! Don’t even explore that thought anymore as much as you can. As much as you can, you have to stop thinking so negatively of yourself. I know some things could justify these negative thoughts, and trust me, I justify my negative thoughts all the time and end up believing them to be true. But that is one thing I’m slowly learning, it’s a process to rethink the negative. Believe that you are wonderful, believe that you are kind, believe that you are only human who makes mistakes but those mistakes does not define who you are. Step 5, might help you see yourself at a better light, especially, if your judgment about yourself is base on how others have made you feel and think of yourself.

5.) Not Everyone will see you for who you truly are, forgive them anyways.

That statement is true. People will have an opinion about you and think they are right. This will make you feel like proving yourself to them– Don’t! It’s basically a trap. People can be cruel and mean and still manage to think they are being helpful and nothing that you say would make them think otherwise.

You should remember that you do not have to prove anything to anyone. Your struggles are yours and you should be surrounded by people who support you, who genuinely cares for you and those people who loves you no matter what. Those people who will never make you feel like they are better than you. And if you don’t have that kind of support, don’t fret. You can find that support within yourself and eventually you will find that kind of friendship that you truly need.

Finding that safe place is hard. Just remember that everyone in this world has one purpose and that is to find love. Everyone’s journey is different. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. People may say or do things that are hurtful but this could be their journey and it doesn’t have anything to do with you and who you are as a person.

INSERT: LOVE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


All of these steps are meant for you to realize that the main focus of your life is YOU. What other’s feel, believe, see and say has nothing to do with who you are and what your purpose is. To truly love yourself is to trust that you have done everything in your life for yourself. To trust that your journey in life is to find yourself by loving and trusting your own journey……….. I hope that these five steps help…. It helped me a lot… & I’m still growing & learning different things everday.  Continue reading What Does It Mean To Truly Love Yourself?